Phuket beaches
I’ve always maintained that the quality of a beach can be measured by the amount of effort it takes to get to it. But I like beaches that are remote, quiet and undeveloped. Bar girls do not. They like their creature comforts, they also like to know where their next plate of som tam is coming from. Happily, if you are bringing a take-away from one of the Bangkok bars, Phuket can provide agreeable compromises.
Most of the best beaches are along the western side of the island. This is a north to south list of the better known.
Bang Tao/Laguna
Eight kilometers of beach dominated by the Laguna development. Laguna is built on an old tin mine and consists of five luxury resorts, a golf course and a lagoon with ornamental rock gardens and waterfalls. The hotels are; Sheraton Grande, Dusit Laguna, Laguna Beach, Allamanda and Banyan Tree Phuket.
In the old days you could have been fairly sure of finding a accommodating sauna and massage usually in the basement of such hotels. Sadly, in modern era of lifestyle enhancing spas, such hotels have discovered it is more lucrative to trample mango and old tea leaves into a women’s backs than it is to take care of nagging erections.
That said if madame is going to insist on blowing $200 in the spa you could insist afterwards that it is her turn to supervise the kids while you go off for lifestyle enhancing beer and titty treatment. Though you might like to call it a scuba diving course, the best ones are all in Patong!
Surin
A comparatively undeveloped beach. Surin is quite popular with locals who like to go on the weekends for the excellent seafood restaurants. The beach has a steep drop off so it’s not a great beach for bathing but it is popular with surfers during the low season. It also has a particularly nasty rip-tide at that time of the year so unless you are a strong and confident swimmer stay out.
Laem Sing
This is a delightful undeveloped little beach hidden from the road between Surin and Kamala. There is a small parking area and a footpath that leads down to it. Good snorkeling.
Kamala
A pleasant and peaceful beach just to the south of Surin. There is a small village nearby with restaurants. The northern end of the beach is almost deserted and there is good snorkeling just off shore.
Just across the main road from Kamala is Phuket Fantasea http://www.phuket-fantasea.com/kingdom.html, a Disney-esque interpretation of Thai history and culture where the dancing elephants are not cartoons. I’ve not been, I’ve never had much interest in that kind of entertainment, but it draws visitors by the coach-load
Patong
Karon
Karon is a strange place. In a colder climate you could call it “romantically windswept”. The hotels and other buildings here are all set well back from the sea-front and there are precious few trees to provide shade when a respite from the sun is needed. Consequently this large and easily accessible beach is never very crowded.
Kata & Kata Noi
Club Med occupies the middle of the Kata beach-front. There are some good restaurants in the village at the southern end of the beach and a number of small hotels. Shallow waters make it a good family choice.
Kata Noi is a blissfully quiet beach just over the hill and down a dead end road to the south of Kata. There are a few restaurants along the road but not much else
The South and South East
Naiharn and Jungle Beach
Naiharn is one of the nicest beaches on the island. It has been protected from development by the monastic lands that occupy the centre of the beach-front. There are only two hotels, both at the northern end of the beach. One of these is Le Royal Meridien Phuket Yacht Club. Not a club at all but it does attract a flotilla of boats of all kinds in 
the peak season that dot the bay.
There are some good restaurants along the road leading to the Yacht Club.
The road passes right through the hotel and out the other side. A further kilometre along the road leads to the tranquil Jungle Beach Resort and the wonderfully rustic Ao Sane beach
Rawai
Not a great place for bathing. This is where you come to hire long-tail or speed boats to take you out and around the islands or across to Krabi
Cape Panwa
Although it is fairly close to Phuket town it is a long way from almost everything else in Phuket. There are a few resorts down here it is still mostly plantation.
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